My Journey With Transness, & 8 Unique Trans Identities You May Not Know

Introduction

Today, March 31st, is International Transgender Day of Visibility. This holiday is observed annually to recognize and celebrate transgender people and identities, and offers a chance to foster understanding and acceptance among the general public.

In the spirit of this day, I would like to share with you my own experience with transness and how I got to where I am today. Additionally, I would like to talk about 8 unique gender identities that fall under the trans umbrella in the hopes of spreading awareness about how wonderfully diverse the trans community is!

The Signs That Went Unnoticed

For those new to this blog, I am a trans man. That means that I was assigned female at birth, but I later learned that I am a man on the inside. As a result, I have since transitioned to male and live my life as a man. You may see this experience abbreviated as FtM, which stands for female-to-male.

I grew up in a Christian family where LGBTQ2IA+ topics weren’t really discussed. It’s not that my parents viewed it as something to be kept hush-hush, but rather they simply felt there was no reason to discuss those topics. After all, they didn’t know anyone who was gay, trans, or anything other then straight and cisgender (or so they thought), so why would it need to talked about with us kids?

As a child, I enjoyed traditionally feminine things. I played with Barbies and Monster High dolls, wore skirts, and dreamed of one day owning my own horse. I went by she\her pronouns and by my birth name, and I didn’t think about my gender because it wasn’t something that meant anything to me at that age. I simply existed as a human being.

That said, there were signs from a young age that I wasn’t cisgender. I hung out with the boys more often then the girls. I loved catching frogs and playing war at recess just as much as I loved playing with dolls. I have a writing from first grade where I referred to myself as a “he”, and when I imagined what I might look like in the future, I imagined a man more often then not. But those images were always brushed off as something unachievable. I believed I would just have to accept being a girl because becoming a boy wasn’t something that was possible.

Still, as I got older and began approaching puberty, gender dysphoria started to rear its head. Subtly at first. So subtle that my doctors and therapists said it was depression and anxiety, completely missing the underlying cause of those symptoms. I wasn’t even aware of what was really going on. I became horribly suicidal and self-harm became a regular part of my life. At the same time, I began to dress more masculine without even realizing. It soon got to a point where my whole family and my friends described me as a tomboy, and I felt proud of that label. I realize now that that pride I felt was actually gender euphoria.

A Life-Changing Video

I remember vividly the day I realized I was trans. I was 12, laying in bed, playing on my phone, when a YouTube notification popped up on my screen. It was from a YouTuber I enjoyed watching at the time. The video had a simple title: “I’m Transgender”.

My curiosity was peaked. As I mentioned, LGBTQ2IA+ topics weren’t discussed in my household. I barely knew what a gay person was, let alone what the word “transgender” meant. I clicked on the video. As this YouTuber explained what “transgender” meant and described their own experiences with being trans, it was like a lightbulb switched in my head. Suddenly, it all made sense. The way I’d always related more to the guys then the girls, the way I always imagined my future self as a man instead of a woman, the reason that I was such a “tomboy”.

I wasn’t a tomboy.

I was simply a boy.

I remember the excitement I felt when this YouTuber described that they were taking HRT, and I realized that I didn’t have to live as a girl. I could be a boy. Right then, the impossible became possible to me. I no longer had to brush off that future version of myself I had imagined for as long as I could remember.

That excitement was quickly replaced with another realization, this one much more daunting. Here was a part of me that I knew nothing about. I had no idea how to navigate it or what it meant for my life. And I had even less of an idea how I was going to tell my parents that their daughter was actually their son. It’s something cisgender folks don’t have to worry about, and therefore nobody had prepared me to have such a conversation. I was at a loss and scared of what my parents would think.

Coming Out & The Journey to Transition

Have you ever been so nervous that you thought you were going to throw up? That was how I felt as I stared at my phone, waiting for my mom’s response. On my screen was the text I’d just sent,

“Mom, please don’t hate me. But I think I’m transgender.”

I was standing in the school cafeteria on lunch break. I swear, minutes had never gone by so slowly before in my life. Imagine my confused mix of relief and hurt when a message finally came back,

“No, you’re not.”

I typed back, “Yes, I am. I’m sorry.” Another minute.

“Okay.”

That was it. That was the discussion, and my mom then told my dad what I’d said.

As you might guess, my parents weren’t the most supportive of my identity at first. In fact, it took years for them to come to terms with my transness. Those years were filled with arguments, long conversations, guilt, and tears. I recall two psyche ward visits, a trip to the psychiatrist, and years of therapy with a youth therapist. It was a miserable time of my life.

But slowly, my parents came around to my identity, and they are now some of my best allies! At the age of 16, I was finally able to get into the gender clinic that I had been on the waitlist for for 3 years. Here began my medical transition.

My Medical Transition & The Present Time

On my second visit to the gender clinic, about a month after my first visit with them, I was finally given my first shot of testosterone. The doctor and I had a lengthy discussion about the side effects and the risks, and I was given the option to preserve my eggs for future use because testosterone can cause problems with fertility. I then signed an informed consent form to say that I understood the risks, and finally, I was shown how to give myself a testosterone injection! The feeling walking out of that hospital afterwards was incredible; I had taken a massive step towards living authentically, and I felt proud to have reached that point in my life. I had shown my younger self that the impossible was possible. I had survived to see a moment that I didn’t think I’d let myself live long enough to see. That is an incredible feeling.

In November of 2024, I had my hysterectomy. Another massive step in my medical transition. In the upcoming months, I’ll be having my top surgery. And in the further future, bottom surgery.

People who have anti-trans sentiments love to tell trans folks that we’ll regret transitioning. But it’s been 5 years since that first shot of testosterone, and I can confidently say that it was the best decision I’ve ever made. While I still suffer from mental illness and occasional bouts of depression, I can deal with those issues so much easier then I could before. I’m happier, more confident, and I have an undying love for life! My body no longer feels like a prison that I’m trapped in. Instead, I see it as a sacred vessel that allows me to experience this world and all it’s beauty. My body is my precious home that I no longer wish to harm. My body bears the scars of a battle that almost killed me, but it also bears the marks of creation, bravery, resilience, and self-love. That is the beauty of allowing trans people access to the healthcare that we need. That is why I’ll fight anyone and anything that tries to take that care away.

Bonus: 8 Identities Under The Trans Umbrella

You’ve heard of trans men and trans women. But did you know that these aren’t the only identities that fall under the transgender umbrella? Below, you’ll find 8 more unique identities that are part of this wonderful community!

1. Genderfluid - This term, like transgender, can be used as a label on its own or can be used as an umbrella term. People who are genderfluid fluctuate between more then one gender and may change how they present themselves to match how they feel. For example, someone could wake up feeling like a man but then begins to feel like a woman in the evening. Some peoples’ gender changes in response to their surroundings or the music they’re listening to, while other peoples’ gender might change at random.

2. Bigender - Bigender is a term that can fall under the genderfluid umbrella. Bigender people experience two genders, either simultaneously or at different times. It is differentiated from genderfluid by being strictly 2 genders, while genderfluid people may experience more then 2 genders.

3. Two-Spirit - Two-Spirit is a term that is exclusive to Indigenous peoples, usually those of so-called North America. It describes a person who fulfills a traditional 3rd gender role within their Indigenous culture. This gender role varies from culture to culture, and some cultures didn’t traditionally have a 3rd gender role and still don’t. Two-Spirit people may also or alternatively identify with a traditional term from their language that describes their gender more accurately then Two-Spirit. Again, this term is exclusive to Indigenous people and should not be used by outsiders.

4. Agender - An agender person is someone who does not experience a gender at all, or who does not experience a strong connection to any gender.

5. Demigender - Demigender describes the experience of having a strong connection to one gender and a weaker connection to another gender. It is similar to bigender in that it involves experiencing two genders at once.

6. Xenogender - A xenogender person is someone who’s experience of gender falls outside of human understandings, and instead may be described as feeling more closely linked to animals, plants, objects, or even concepts. This term is most often used by people who are neurodivergent, though it can be used by anyone.

7. Genderflux - Genderflux is a term that describes a gender that fluctuates in intensity. For example, someone could feel strongly female one day, but then feel almost agender the next.

8. Genderqueer - Genderqueer is an umbrella term that describes anyone who falls outside of binary gender norms. It could include binary trans people, nonbinary people, and even cisgender crossdressers. Some people may also use this term when they’re unsure of their label, but know that they aren’t cisgender.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! If you have any trans friends or family, remember to tell them that you love them. Happy Trans Day of Visibility!

11 Myths You Might Believe About Transgender People

Introduction

Throughout the nine years I’ve spent living as a transgender man and participating in human rights advocacy, I have come to learn that many people have misconceptions about people like me. Unfortunately, most of these misconceptions are far from harmless. They come with serious and direct consequences for trans people, including increased risk of mental health struggles, physical violence, and worse.

My goal with this article today is that, whether you’re just learning about trans folks or you’re a long-time ally, or even trans yourself, you learn something! And I hope that, with what you learn, you’re able to help debunk these myths when you see folks spreading them as fact.

So, without further ado and in no particular order, here are 11 myths you might believe about transgender people:

Myth #1: Being trans is a choice

Fact: Just like being gay or straight, being transgender isn’t a choice.

Research shows that people who are transgender are born that way, and it’s likely to be influenced by genetics, hormones, and environmental factors while in the womb.

Studies have shown that the brain structure of transgender people is different than that of cisgender people; our brains align more closely to that of the gender we identify with then the sex we were assigned at birth. For trans women specifically (people who are born male but are actually women), one study showed that a difference in ability to process the hormone androgyn may result in a more female brain structure.

This shows that being trans is not a choice, but rather a complex, natural phenomenon rooted in biology.

Myth #2: Trans people just have a fetish

Fact: There is no reliable evidence to suggest that being transgender comes from a place of sexual interest.

This myth originates from Ray Blanchard’s theory of “autogynephilia”, or men being sexually aroused at the idea of becoming women. While autogynephilia was listed as a specifier for transvestic disorder in the 2013 edition of the DSM, the DSM did not list autogynephilia as a disorder in itself, and did not include trans women in it’s definition.

It’s important to note that while transvestic disorder is a legitimate diagnosis in some countries, it has nothing to do with transgender people. Rather, it is defined as an intense and recurrent sexual arousal at the idea of cross-dressing, with the arousal being so strong that it interrupts social and occupational functioning. In contrast, transition for trans people is much deeper then simply cross-dressing, and we are not sexually aroused at the thought of transitioning.

To go back to Ray Blanchard’s theory of autogynephilia, his research on the matter was inherently flawed. His surveys were intentionally designed to produce his desired outcomes, he confused correlation with causation, he used no controls, accused those presenting conflicting evidence of being liars, refused to consider alternative explanations for his findings, and he failed to address the existence of trans men and non-binary people in his research. Yikes!

Myth #3: Trans people want to replace women

Fact: We have no intention or desire to replace cisgender women. In fact, many trans people are staunch supporters of the feminist movement!

When we use terms like “people with uteruses” or “people who breastfeed”, this is not to erase the term “woman”. Rather, it is to acknowledge the fact that not everyone who has these experiences are actually women. Some people with these experiences are men or are non-binary. Plus there are plenty of women, both cis and trans, who don’t have uteruses or who don’t breastfeed.

If you have a uterus or do choose to breastfeed, and you identify as a woman, then it is still perfectly acceptable to call yourself a woman! We don’t need or want to take that away from you, ever.

We don’t want to replace cis women in women’s spaces or sports, either. Even if we did, it’s actually a statistical impossibility - trans women make up less than 1% of the global population. All we’re asking for is for trans women to be included. After all, they’re women, too!

Myth #4: Trans people want your kids to be trans

Fact: We don’t recommend being trans to anyone. Seriously. I give this experience a one-star review.

Half-joking aside, we really don’t want your kids to be trans. We are 4x more likely to be victims of violent crime than cis people, we are under constant attack from anti-trans legislation, and 32 - 50% of us attempt suicide at some point in our lives because of discrimination. The process of transitioning can also be a nightmare, with years long waitlists, difficult surgeries, and hard choices. Many of us face rejection and disownment from family and friends, and lose thousands of dollars for medical procedures. It’s not an experience we’d wish on anyone, let alone a child.

So, why do we advocate for education and healthcare that is inclusive of trans kids? Simple: We want trans kids to survive to become happy adults. We want them to know that they’re not alone in how they feel, that there are others like them, and that there are options available to help them as they discover who they are. Plus, when cisgender kids learn about trans people in a healthy and factual way, it helps create a more accepting and less discriminatory world for trans people. When trans kids feel loved and supported, their risk of dying by suicide drops by more then half.

Myth #5: Transness can be “cured” with conversion therapy

Fact: Conversion therapy has been shown to be ineffective and deeply traumatic for those who undergo it.

In fact, conversion therapy has been condemned by the UN Human Rights Council, the American Psychological Association, Amnesty International, the World Health Organization, and many more organizations like these. Additionally, 28 countries have placed some kind of ban on conversion therapy - 13 of those have banned it completely.

As stated in our first fact, being transgender isn’t a choice or behavioral issue - it’s a naturally occurring biological phenomenon in the brain. It cannot be changed. People who undergo conversion therapy do not change their gender identity, but they do face a significantly increased risk of experiencing depression, PTSD, anxiety, substance abuse, homelessness, unemployment, and suicidality.

Myth #6: Children can be turned transgender

Fact: It is impossible for children to be “turned” transgender. While it’s common for kids to explore their identities (just like adults), they’re either trans or they’re not, and this fact cannot be changed by outside influences.

The myth of children “turning” trans stems from the theory of “rapid onset gender dysphoria”, which suggested that gender dysphoria (and therefore transgender identity) is a social contagion which can be “caught” from transgender people or media.

This study was performed by Lisa Littman, a woman who had no experience with gender diverse topics prior to this study. Her theory was that adolescents exposed to transgender people or media would have a rapid onset of gender dysphoria and begin to identify as transgender, even if they had no prior history of it.

In her study, she visited three websites that were designed for parents of trans children who did not support their child’s identity. Lisa did not interview the children themselves and therefore ignored the critical aspect that trans identification may have been a long-time experience that only appeared rapid to the parents. She also did not interview any parents who were supportive of their child’s trans identity.

Though Lisa’s study suggested that adolescents were “turning trans” around puberty due to social contagion, no studies have replicated Lisa’s findings since. One such study published in the Journal of Pediatrics observed data from 173 Canadian transgender adolescents. The authors noted that while many of the children began presenting with gender dysphoria around puberty, they had been aware of their trans identity from a much younger age.

Lisa responded to this by stating that her study wasn’t about trans identity or the length of time gender dysphoria was experienced, but rather that it was about the apparent consistency of gender dysphoria first appearing around the time of puberty. But of course that’s when most people begin to experience gender dysphoria – it’s the time when we begin to grow breasts, experience menstruation, grow facial hair, and\or experience our voice deepening. Of course this is much more distressing than pre-puberty, when there is much less physical difference between girls and boys. It does not mean children are “catching” dysphoria from their peers.

TL;DR – No, children are not turning trans, and the only data suggesting that they are is extremely flawed and has not been replicated since.

Myth #7: Being trans is a mental illness

Fact: While gender dysphoria can be considered a mental health condition, being trans in itself is not.

Gender dysphoria is the distress caused by our body not aligning with our internal sense of gender. This distress can be so severe as to affect our body image, induce depression, and significantly interfere with our ability to live our lives.

While gender dysphoria is a diagnosable condition in the DSM (the treatment for which is transition), transgender identity itself is not listed as a mental health diagnosis by any major psychiatric organization. There are many trans people who don’t experience gender dysphoria, who may or may not feel a need to transition, and who don’t meet the criteria for a mental health condition.

Myth #8: Unless you have surgery, you’re not really trans

Fact: Each trans person’s journey looks different, and there is no “right way” to be trans.

Some people might choose to have the full transition “package”, including legal name changes, hormone therapy, and gender-affirming surgeries. But some people might choose only to have hormone therapy, or only to change their name, and some people might not choose to transition at all. For some people, simply knowing who they are is enough to feel satisfied in the body they have. For others, it may not be possible to transition even if they want too. All of these scenarios happen, and they don’t mean someone is more or less trans than anyone else.

Myth #9: Trans people are just as likely to die by suicide after transition as they are before transition

Fact: After transitioning, a trans person’s risk of suicide drops significantly.

Research has shown that when a transgender person transitions and feels supported, their risk of dying by suicide drops to one-fifteenth of the prior rate.

In one study, it was found that 35.8% of trans people reported attempting suicide prior to initiating gender-affirming treatment, versus just 9.4% after initiating gender-affirming treatment. That is a 26.4% difference! The same study also found that suicidal ideation dropped from 73.3% to 43.4% after initiating gender-affirming care. This data included both people who felt supported and those who did not.

It is important to note that even in cases where someone attempts to, or actually does take their life after transition, it does not necessarily mean that they were unhappy with their transition. As trans people, we face higher rates of mental illness, chronic illness, violence, and homelessness as a result of discrimination. It isn’t our identities or our dysphoria that kills us the most, but rather it is the cis-heteronormative society that constantly reminds us that we are not seen as equal or valued members of it.

Myth #10: Children are receiving hormones and surgeries

Fact: The path to receiving these treatments is long, and they are reserved for older teens and adults.

When children express a desire to transition, they first must undergo an assessment from a qualified health professional who has experience with gender-diverse people. These assessments in themselves can take years depending on the length of the waitlists.

For kids who haven’t started puberty, transition looks like trying out different names or pronouns, choosing different clothes, or getting a new haircut or growing their hair out. Nothing medical or permanent is done at this point.

For kids who are in the beginning stages of puberty, they may be given puberty blockers. These blockers temporarily prevent puberty from occurring, giving kids more time to explore who they are. Puberty blockers are safe and reversible – for decades, they have been used in cisgender kids who experience early puberty. Negative effects may only be experienced if they are used longer than intended. When puberty blockers are stopped, puberty resumes as normal.

Older teens who are further along in puberty may be given the option to take estrogen or testosterone to help align their secondary sex characteristics with their gender identity. However, since hormone therapy can impact fertility, hormones are not prescribed until a patient has shown a persistent desire to transition, been fully informed about the side effects, and has been given the chance to preserve their eggs or sperm.

Finally, surgery is typically reserved for people 18 and older. Top surgery (breast removal or construction) may be offered to teenagers who are 16 or 17, but this is rare, and they must have already been undergoing transition for many years. Bottom surgery (the construction of a penis or vagina) is never performed on anyone under the age 18.

Myth #11: Transness is a new phenomenon

Fact: Trans people have existed for as long as the human species has been a thing.

From May 16th 218 to March 13th 222, Rome was ruled by an emperor named Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, who is perhaps better known today as Elagabalus. While their gender identity is disputed as being post-mortem defamation attempts, it is reported that Marcus preferred to be called a Lady rather than a Lord, that they wore makeup and wigs, and offered large amounts of money to anyone who could give them a vagina.

In the 1600s, we have what is perhaps our first known case of a gender fluid European. Thomas or Thomasine Hall was an English Intersex person who wore both feminine and masculine clothing, and they behaved according to the way they were dressed. Hall was raised female, but later adopted a male identity so that they could join the military. Courts ruled that Thomas(ine) was both a man and a woman, and ordered them to wear both feminine and masculine clothing at all times in public.

Born in 1728, Charlotte d'Éon de Beaumont was a French spy and soldier who was born male. While she lived 49 years of her life as a man, pursuing masculine roles, in 1777 she began living as a woman and was officially recognized as a woman by King Louis XVI.

Then, in the mid to late 1800s was We’wha, a member of the Zuni Indigenous nation. We’wha was an Ihamana, a Zuni person born male who took part in the tasks and ceremonies that were typically performed by women. We’wha was well respected among the Zuni tribe, and even amongst European settlers who met them.

And finally, from 1890 to 1962, there was a man named Alan L. Hart. Alan was a physician and radiologist who pioneered the use of x-ray in tuberculosis detection. Alan was born female, and around 1917, he became one of the first transgender men in the United States to receive a hysterectomy.

So, there you have it. Trans people aren’t a new phenomenon or “trend”. Rather, we have existed for as long as there has been recorded human history, and before then, too. We’ve always been here, and we will continue to be here for as long as the human species is here.

Whew! This was a super long article.

A huge thank you to you if you made it this far, and I hope you learned something! Did you believe any of these myths? Which one surprised you the most? If you enjoyed this article, please consider sharing this post so that my myth-busting work can reach others. Stay safe and be kind, folks!